Posting here just for attention

I know I don't deserve it but I just want someone to talk to. I don't know what I'm looking for. Maybe support, friendship... I'm not sure. I feel alone, tired, hopeless about everything and I just need someone to keep me company while I'm going through this.

I found someone to talk to almost a year ago but they have been distant for the last couple of months. They say that they are just tired and I'm not at fault for it. They are the first person I've ever felt so close to, and they are just so lovely and kind when they pay attention to me, so much so that maybe I have a crush on them. They are going through a lot too so I don't blame them, we've been supporting each other since we met, and I'm trying to text them as much as I can without being annoying, but it's so hard to deal with this too. Writing this post feels like I'm betraying them.

I have other friends and other people in my life but I've never opened up to anyone about any personal matter, and it's one of the things that scares me the most. But also I don't think they'd be great at dealing with me and my problems.

I don't know if I'm ever even gonna text to anyone that offers help in the comments, it'd be just a useless waste of time to talk to me, cause honestly I'm not fun or interesting, I suck at texting and speaking, and most of the time the person talking to me is gonna do most of the work in the conversation.

Thanks to anyone who read my pointless venting.