r/AITAH•
NotADev228

AITAH for telling basically everyone that the relationship between me and my female friend is complicated?

Me(15M) and my female friend(15F) were talking to each other for almost 2 months. We were friends but from time to time both me and her gave some strange hints to each other. For example once she got mad at me because I told her that I have a crush on another girl, then after a few days she told me that she was rage baiting me only to get mad at me again like one week later when I told her that I did not have a crush on her. Later in the text I will call my female friend Cheese cuz it’s her nickname. We considered each other friends and I was fine with that until one week ago Cheeses friend came to me and started a casual conversation that went like this:

Me: Who are you voting for the king and the queen of the Valentine's Day Ball?

Her: I voted for u and Cheese, even tho ur friends or idk.

Me (to myself): Wth ”idk”

Me: ”Idk”!? what did cheese say?

Her: Cheese said ”it’s complicated”

This inside flips the whole table. Like I just got a inside from a (as I thought) trusted source that my female friend said it was ”complicated”. Even tho we have seen each other as friends, if she’s saying stuff like this, it means that she kinda considers me as a possible guy to date. I didn’t see any reason not to ”shoot the shot”. Later this day a few guys in my class asked me what’s between me and Cheese (they saw us together in the city a few days ago). I told them that it’s complicated. I know that it was absolutely not the smartest thing to do. Especially if we consider that this was heard by basically my entire class. But at the moment saying that it was "complicated" for me was one of the most reasonable (as I thought) options I have. I thought for myself that if I tell everyone that we are friends I will kinda "friendzone" her which is not something I want to do. I should have come up with saying something smarter like "non of ur business" or "idk" to make it more clear that by saying "complicated" I actually meant that I had no idea what to day. But it is what it is.

Literally the next day, Cheese told me that she found a bf (she said situationship but idk what that means). I understood that whatever Cheeses friend tried to tell me is bs/outdated and I should move on. This is what I did for one week until this Thursday when one of my classmates told cheese that ”Notadev228 told me that it’s complicated”. While this happened I was waiting in the corridor for my class to start. The corridor had both my and her classes. I was talking to a guy in the corridor when Cheese and her friend (I will call her Danger) came out from around the corner. Danger saw me and started yelling. ”HOW DARE ARE YOU! HOW DARE ARE YOU SAYING THAT ITS COMPLICATED, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY U TWO ARE FRIENDS”. Me and Cheese spoke Russian so I tried to explain her the situation in Russian but Danger interrupted me and told me to speak in Swedish so everyone could understood (WTF it’s a private conversation lowkey fuck off). This was a prime example of how public humiliation looks like. In class, I sat near the ”Cheese said it’s complicated” girl. I tried to talk to her but she basically started to gaslight me into thinking that by saying ”Cheese said it’s complicated” she was expressing her OWN opinion on our relationship. After the class I literally ran home. After that Cheese blocked me on snap and kinda started to ignore me. The next Monday one of my classmates (I will call him Chillguy) came to me and told me that "I tried to defend you." I asked him what happened and he told me that he and his friends were going sitting near Cheese in the dining room and one guy asked Cheese if she was dating with me and she said "Eww, no." Chillguy tried to tell her that it was kinda rude to say "eww" but Cheese just laughed at his face and left. Later the next day I saw Cheese in the corridor and I talked to her. I explained my situation (not as detailed as here tho cuz I had no time). I did apologize for spreading rumors about us but she told me that she is still angry at me because everyone apparently thought that Cheese publicly rejected me through Danger and everyone took my side and now she is getting quite a lot of hate for that. I told her that she is getting the hate because of the public execution of me that Danger did and not because of what I said and that objectively if she cares about her reputation she should probably be mad at Danger and not me. She said that she is still not going to forgive me. I accepted that and left. This situation is kinda over but I feel kinda sick because everyone keeps thinking that I am saint and that its all Cheeses fault. Chillguy and his friends really did defend me and kept talking about how horrible Cheese is. Deep in my heart I feel like an asshole for what I did but it seems like no one understands what I did wrong, even when I explain the situation to them in detail.

Posted Feb 15, 2026, 8:39 PM UTC · locked

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