Akala ko phase lang ng relationship paalam na pala

Problem/Goal: Its hard to accept na parang emotionally naka-move on na sya bago pa ko iniwan. Its so painful kasi feeling ko ako lang naghhold on habang siya unti unti na syang nawawala. Ngayon hirap ako matulog, kumain, at magfunction at magfpcus sa work... sa life.

context: its been 6mos ldr and 7 months live in. Lumipad sya from EU to PH just to try life here to be considered na dito na sya mag settle. So we live in together cz he cant with ldr anymore. The 1st few months living together was really full of love, happiness... u know the honeymoon phase. Pero nagkafinancial problem sya kasi wala na syang masyadong income sa type of profession nya. So simula nun need na namin magtipid, bihira na kaming magdate every weekend. Okay lang naman saken. Minsan inaaya ko sya na lumabas pero wala syang gana at panggabi na kasi sya. Hindi ako gumagastos ng malaki kasi pinaghahandaan ko yung renovation ng bahay ko(namin). Still supporting him at sinasabi ko na pag hindi na kaya if bet nya i can help him na magstart ng new career or business. Akala ko its just a phase yung pagiging cold at distant nya. Dumaan yung pasko, bagong taon. Nagcelebrate kami with my fam. Nagstay pa kami sa baguio for Christmas break. Kala ko oks sya kasi alam mo yun we're still happy together. And if i asked him he told me he's okay. But in january told me na he doesn't feel good in our relationship. I said maybe its just a phase cz of the stress of work, we rarely do things together etc. Lately we rarely being intimate cz hes not in the mood even dont wanna be touched. We only eat together pag dinner na cz he's night shift or sometimes pag di sya makatulog kakain kami sabay pang lunch. Hes almost always not in the mood even when we eat, we barely speak, after eating he will immediately go to computer room to work. Its sad, noon lagi muna kaming magccuddle after we eat then will continue working after. But ofc iniisip ko na need nyang magwork kasi need ng money. So even its sad i still understand the situation and supportive and thinking okay lang kasi soon babalik din naman sa normal ang lahat. I gave him space cz i dont wanna pressure him. Not until he dumped me before vday. Sobrang sakit kasi he told me he's already thinking bout it last Dec yet he didnt tell me. I felt betrayed maybe he's already grieving since then. Maybe if he told me i haven't give him the space when he was distant? Idk. I was kinda tired lately cz of the way i was abandoned. Like the care and interests of him doesn't exist anymore. Ang sakit nung aside sa im grieving from relationship im also grieving for our future that we were building together. Ang sakit na hindi ka na kayang ipaglaban. Ang sakit na hindi nya man lang kami binigyan ng second chance. Now we''re still living together post break up (temporarily cz of circumstances) we still casually talk bout our cat etc. i feel like im dying, struggle to sleep, and foods makes me throw up.

Previous attempts: ayun na nga ⬆️