The struggle is real. Hoping to last a little longer.

I'm a 52yo (HLM) married to a 50yo (LLF). The struggle has been real and has been going on for over 5 years. I can't even remember the year that we were last intimate. We've never gone through counseling which would never work because, in her head, everything is my fault. There has been zero intimacy, hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc...

I've had a couple of long term online affairs which has at least helped with the loneliness that I feel on a day to day basis. I have never strayed (yet) on her, but at some point the time may come. Divorce is inevitable as I have one child that is still at home. I know some people disagree with staying for the children, but that's what I have chosen to do. I almost think she may be asexual, as nothing seems to ever get her going. I'm in good shape and I'm a pretty decent looking guy, and she just has zero interest. I feel 100% that she has no interest in sex whatsoever. Have any of you been in a similar situation and have not cheated? How have you stayed the course. Thanks for listening and good luck to us all.