Autism and low libido (orchidsexual?)

I am newly diagnosed as a high functioning adult with autism but my partner and I have been struggling with aligning our libidos more and more as I stop hiding my ticks and quirks. I find myself having less interest in sex as the thought of the sounds, fluids, and increased needs for nonverbal cues during intimacy stresses me way out.

My partner is very high libido, needing to orgasm daily (sometimes multiple times a day) or she becomes "off balanced" and fights ensue from strained communication and distancing. In one month that she tracked her orgasms, she had over 100 orgasms in one month and that was where she wanted to be at all times!

We have worked hard to be where we are and we are in an open marriage where she is allowed to find other sexual partners as she needs, as long as our relationship doesn't suffer. So she has options to find additional partners, yet she still feels resentment towards me due to my falling libido.

Our most recent argument started Thursday because she pulled away over feeling unloved because it has been a week since we had sexual intimacy even though I asked if she would like to mutually masturbate with me 3 days in a row this week. She wanted more intimacy than I offered but didn't communicate that effectively and ended up getting very upset with me and saying some very hurtful things while upset. Yet when I tried to initiate sex last night when we showered together, she turned me down after all the arguing over sex.

I just don't understand why she's so stressed over sex when we are literally inseparable...we cuddle for 3 or more hours a night, we play video games and board games together multiple times a week, we eat dinner together every night, we watch wrestling together 3 nights a week, we have conversations that last for 4 hours where we pause the movie and chat and forget about the movie completely.

Outside of sex, she's the best partner I've ever been with. I've been with her since I started my transition to female, and she's been there through every surgery I've had. Yet when I do try as she asks, she pushes me away out of spite over an argument or because I'm not doing it the way she wants.....

Has anyone dealt with issues like this before? Is this due to autism/my aversions/quirks or is this something else? Something deeper? Has anyone had any success navigating an issue like this with autism?