It happened again

I feel so gross. I can’t explain it. I just feel hollow and gross. I can’t tell anyone, I know I should, but it feels so wrong. I’m at a loss for words, I can’t even verbalise it. I just feel so horrible and stupid. I feel like I’ve betrayed my boyfriend, I feel horrible. I cant understand how I let myself be fooled like that. I confided in them, they told me that they hated thinking of me selling myself (something I did in the past when I was a teenager), and then they do this to me? They gain my trust and then do this? All while acting a saviour? I feel so stupid. I thought they were trying to do something with me, and I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t engage. Then they do this?