My boyfriend [33m] and I [37f] only have sex once a month. Is this normal?

My boyfriend and I have been together 9 months (living together for 4) and in that time, we have averaged sex about once a month. If I'm being honest, it might even be a little less than that... To me, this is very rare. I know my sex drive is higher - I'm happy to have sex 3-4 times a week, even up to every day if it's not a stressful week. I realize this is probably more than the average person, so I'm aware and patient and don't put expectations or pressure on my partner. With that said, I would still like to have more sex with my partner - it's a way for me to connect emotionally. We've talked about it and we both have trouble initiating sex based on past experiences. So we've talked about ways we can both initiate in order to avoid feelings of rejection or awkwardness. But he's still not initiating. And when I initiate, he seems clueless or uninterested. He says he doesn't identify with being asexual. And in his past he was having more sex. But he also states he didn't value his relationships as much in the past as he was only in them for the sex. He says he's gone to therapy and worked on himself and becoming a better person, and just doesn't prioritize sex as much now. I am feeling insecure and like he isn't attracted to me. It doesn't make sense to me that he has slept around in the past and now doesn't want to have sex as much. All I can think is he doesn't want as much sex because he isn't as attracted to me as he was to his girlfriends/hookups from the past. I don't know how else to ask him for more sex without putting pressure on us both or making him feel like he is losing bodily autonomy. He, of course, doesn't always have to be in the mood as much as I am or have sex every time I want to. But he tells me he would like to have more sex in our relationship as well. So why don't I see the effort from him or why is he walking away when I initiate? He isn't on any medications, I haven't found any evidence of cheating or that he is watching porn. It's possible his libido has gone down or has low testosterone, but how do we navigate this? Should we have like a date night every week where we plan to initiate sex? Has anyone done this or had similar experiences and can weigh in? Or is it obvious he's just not attracted to me, but still wants me as a partner?