AITAH for not saying thank you for a hat I returned during a quarrel with a friend?

Hey Reddit, I need some outside perspective on a situation with a former friend and coworker.

Over the weekend, I went shopping with two friends — let’s call them Friend A (car owner) and Friend B. we both work at the same place, but friend B and I work in the same section. when she comes we have one hour together then she takes over the shift.

That day I had to be at work at 1 p.m., and I even called my boss beforehand to say I might be a little late. I specifically told them that the boss wasn't pleased with me being late and told me to be at work asap. also let me add that Friend A and Friend B arrived late to the shopping place, which caused us the delay in the first place. After we ate, we rushed to the parking garage to get Friend A’s car so I could get to work, and to drop off B on the way even though it would have delayed us further but we

I kept encouraging everyone to move faster because I was worried about being late. Friend B was walking behind us, but still clearly within my sight. Friend A and I reached the garage first, placed the shopping bags in the car, and I immediately went back to look for Friend B. From the last moment I saw her behind us to the time I went back and started calling her, no more than 5 minutes had passed.

I tried calling multiple times — no answer. Friend A and I started panicking because I was already late. We searched and called for about 10–15 more minutes, but she either didn’t answer or hung up. Eventually, she sent a non-apologetic message saying she had left without us. I ended up getting to work almost 45 minutes late.

Since that day, we have been silent with each other. Other than brief greetings and goodbyes at work, neither of us has spoken.

A couple of days later, I remembered that Friend B had previously given me a hat — one she had repeatedly asked me to wear because it matched a jacket of mine. so I accepted it. Since we weren’t talking, I brought it back and left it inside a shopping bag I had held for her on the day of the quarrel, it was still with me since she had left without us that day.

After that, she sent me a message saying something like:

“When someone brings something back they owed a person, they say thank you. I don’t need your thank you but it’s more appropriate for your self to do ❤️”. I didn't reply since she was clearly picking up a fight with me. However she also sent a Snap to Friend A or whoever else showing the hat while saying:

“Look at this disrespectful person. They left me the hat in a bag for me without even saying thank you. My mother didn’t raise me like that.” that's when I got furious as she has crossed a major line brining my mother into this.

I didn't talk with her to give her space to reflect on her mistakes. but apparently in her mind we are the villains who left her behind when I was already late for work.

I haven’t seen her in person yet, but I’ve decided that when I do, I’ll simply say:

“Thank you for your hat, I forgot to tell you yesterday,” and leave it at that. and since I'm no longer going to be her aide I don't see her staying at this job for too long.

For added context: although she’s a friend, she also used to be an intern at our workplace, and I spent a lot of time training and supporting her. I’ve defended her to our boss more than once when her job was at risk. I would never bring this up to her, but it makes the situation especially painful because I genuinely cared about her and saw her as a younger sister.

Some friends say I should have just said thank you immediately to avoid conflict. Others say I shouldn’t engage with what feels like unnecessary drama.

So Reddit — AITAH for not saying thank you right away when returning the hat during a tense situation?