Have a really hard time

Ive had 3 surgeries this past year 2 fistulotomies a hemorrhoidendectomy a sphinterotomy and anal stenosis incisions, my doctors seem to think I have crohns disease now and ive been referred to uc Davis health in my area where they're more proficient at getting to the bottom of health issues, well Friday I went in for an mri and images show i have another fricken fistula, I just dropped, i cant do this anymore, ive been suffering in pain for over a year and the thought of going through it all again has me more freaked out than ive ever been in my whole life! I just feel like this cant be real, how is this possible, why am I having so many problems like literally over night all this crap started. its has me even contemplating life at this point, my quality of life is non existent, I lay in bed or on the couch all day. ive lost sight of any kind of hope and im so defeated