I got older faster than I wanted...

This is just a post about my thoughts that have been piling up and I need to write them down somewhere to... I don't know. To hear what others have to say? To release all of it...

I am 16 now. I'm from Ukraine and the war started when I was 12, after that my childhood... It just ended. My teenage life was ruined, my health, physical and mental, was broken, they took so much time from me.

I more or less like how I spent my teenage years from the middle of 13 to 15, I was happy, I had many new interests and I regained interest in many of my old favorite things, I had friends, I learned to restrain my bad thoughts and found the will to live, but after my 16th birthday I started to worry a lot...

This year I have to take exams and go to university, my parents say I will have to move out of home... I want to and don't want to at the same time. I want to do well in the exams, go to the university I want, become independent, but I'm scared. I'm really fucking scared.

I feel like I'm not ready to become an adult. I'm not ready to leave home and work. What if I don't have time left for the things I love? What if I do something critically wrong? What if no one wants to help me because I'm already an adult? What if none of my dreams come true? I feel like I need more time...

I'm really scared.