not wanting to take OCD meds bc of potential side effects

Does anyone else have trouble starting or continuing on mental health medications (or medical ones even) after looking into the medication and seeing all the potential side effects? I have been started on like five different medications for OCD that I either get too scared to take because I looked into the medication (I know I shouldn’t google) and got convinced if I took it I would have every single side effect and die or stopped taking because I convinced myself I was having side effects. I also have a hard time keeping medication in the home because my hyper responsibility OCD makes it so I think I always dropped one and that my cats will eat it and die or that they already came and ate it and are already dying. I haven’t seen anyone else talking about this and im too embarrassed to talk to my therapist and psychiatrist about it (i just tell my psychiatrist I couldn’t afford the copay or that I just dont like it for a made up reason) bc im scared she’ll think im a bad person who’s faking OCD and is not willing to try. this sucks

* I am looking into ERP if anyone wants to share their experience with that too??