Starting to question my diagnosis

So I’m 31 (M)

I’d had a tough upbringing but nothing too heavy, I fell into cannabis use at the age of 21. It started as now and again thing, then suddenly it was everyday. Long story short, When I knew I had a child on the way, I changed my lifestyle and life choices. I slowly stopped cannabis to a point where it was something I hated. Anyway roll on a few months and out of nowhere when driving I had this rush, almost like my brain had exploded. My vision was distorted, I was going from talking to shouting on the phone. It was the most intense feeling I’ve ever felt. (Which I now know to be a panic attack).

After that day, my whole life was turned upsides down. For the next 3 months I’d have non stop panic attacks. I’d rush like I was on drugs, I’d have panic attacks just from standing up. I didn’t leave the house and I was just a shell of my self, they started to ease off. I started going back out into society. The world felt very different (I was feeling fully disassociated). It was a long hard journey back to any type of normality. I’d just have random rushes inside my body, heart racing.. the most intense panic would come over me from nowhere. Slowly it just took away all my enjoyment, hobbies, friends.

3 years on form those days. I’m back to a place where I’m scared of activities, living a normal life due to the intensity of the physical symptoms. In those 3 years, I’ve had days where I’ve felt functional and lower anxiety, some periods where I’ve managed. But for the main part it’s just been a survival.

It’s key to add that my child has severe epilepsy and this is what the doctors think triggered my CPTSD/intense anxiety. I’ve had to resuscitate, do/see things no parent should ever have to see. It’s not standard epilepsy it’s a very serious case. I won’t bore you with the details but you get the gist of things.

This did have a huge role to play in my life/diagnosis etc. As it was like one day my brain just said that’s enough.. bang. My only coping mechanism for life was cannabis and it felt like now my brain had lost that crutch it all just went west.

I’ve been in therapy, that hasn’t helped much. If anything. I’ve tried a range of medications prescribed by the doctors. SSRIs.. which I found way to activating and made my symptoms worse. Then I’ve tried other various drugs but nothing seems to give me back control of me. The anxiety is continuous, the panic is intense and it’s taken so much of my life already.

Since that day, I’ve not been able to drive a car due to the panic/anxiety attached to driving. I’ve had some good days and pushed then I’m met with a flare where I can barely stand up and function.

I’ve got to the stage where I’m questioning do I really have cptsd as all the drugs, theraphy and support so far hasn’t really improved my physical symptoms or quality of life. I do regret giving up smoking cannabis as I feel like that was the thing my brain had become so reliant on to regulate and cope. Since my diagnosis I’ve tried everything I can to get better and more functional but it feels like it’s a never even rollercoaster of anxiety and panic.

I’ve been had all my vitals checked and cleared. It just wild to think you can feel this way from your mind.

I’ve read alot of things about the use of CBD etc. I’m just wondering if anyone has any opinions or advice. As normal life feels miles away.

Thanks.