Procedural Kidnapping and Alienation: A story

I'm looking for support from other parents who have been through something similar to what (still) feels like the procedural kidnapping of my children, whom I haven't seen in over 7 years at this point.

This is such a long story but I'm going to try to condense it into just the legal facts and if anyone has a question about anything I'll do my best to answer, as long as it isn't too personal.

Firstly, I'm new to this page and WOW I have felt so validated in my experience!

I'm a 38yo (f) mother of 3 girls. 2 of whom are over 18 as of last year.

The youngest daughter was taken and raised by her dad and his (now) ex-wife when she was 3 years old.

Some context of this story:

The woman who was the step-mother of my children hated me since middle school. We are from a very small town and I experienced bullying from her since I was in 6th grade.

She married my ex-husband's best friend. He died in mysterious circumstances during their divorce. You can research this for yourself if interested, I have links to news articles about it.

Now FF to she and my ex-husband get together. (we'll call him C and her J)

My ex and I had established a decent (ish) co-parenting relationship. If I needed something for the kids, I could call him and he would help. We talked intermittently and agreed on most parenting decisions.

Then J entered the picture. It got so messy so fast, I don't know where to begin. So I'll start with the attorney that will be referred to as Crusty from here on out. J and Crusty used to date. Maybe 2 years before she got with my ex-husband.

She hires him for the divorce, they have 2 hearings without me and without serving me. I get absolutely railed out of my half of everything. You name it, I lost it. 401k health insurance and I got completely jipped on child support for the kids. In this divorce "agreement" they got custody of our youngest daughter while giving me custody of the older 2. They move to Colorado (against orders of course). I'm threatened that if I do anything about this arrangement that I will lose the other two children. I stay quiet I accept what's offered and didn't even understand what my options were. I didn't have time. Because the CPS reports started. Anonymous at first. I ended up going to court twice to defend myself and won both times. Spent thousands on attorneys etc etc the whole shebang. This was NOT my ex-husband and his wife, mind you. This was his family. His mother. His sister in law. His brothers. All making false allegations against me, whatever, I hired an attorney, complied with CPS and beat the allegations. It traumatized myself and my children, yes. But we went on living.

Well, 6 years pass and my dad passed away. Who had very much been a father figure to my girls during those trying times. My oldest daughter reaches out to her step-mother with some choice words about being kept from her father.

Step mom J reacts by filing for a protective order against ME in COLORADO of all places! Where I had never been before having to appear to defend myself. So I do. She loses.

Thus beginning her malicious pursuit of removing my children from my life.

I let the kids go visit the family members who had made false allegations against me for Christmas that year. I always participated in arranging family time for them just like they were my children's father themselves because I never wanted to deprive my kids of their family members, especially after one of mine had just passed.

J drives to Texas after learning their location. J had been messaging with my oldest daughter and making a lot of big promises. Their dad was in North Dakota at the time, yet swore to an affidavit that he was in Texas, but the affidavit is signed and notarized in ND... anyway...

In it he alleges that I'm a prostitute and a drug addict and that I starved my kids, literally every awful thing you'd never want to hear about a mother. Gets the ex-parte (J does) and takes legal custody of my kids. All 3 are then relocated to Colorado against the court order.

I want y'all to know that I haven't seen my children since this happened. As the older 2 moved away we have reconnected and it's rocky to say the least.

They served me for this ex-parte hearing on 12/26/2018. Hearing was 1/3/2019 and I couldn't find an attorney to save my literal life during that time. I send messages to their dad saying I don't want to fight if you want custody of the kids we can work something out outside of court because what the hell man?! I didn't show for the 1/3/19 hearing. I was terrified. I got threats they were moving my kids out of the country and they had gotten custody so fast I needed legal advice. But because of the allegations attorneys were wanting more and more money for a contested custody case. I didn't have it. I started representing myself.

I get the TRO dissolved, I get the affidavit stricken from the record... I have service notice due process issues raised. Then, the next bombshell. They stated in court that my middle daughter was suicidal at the thought of coming home to mom. Hearsay at best because they had no evidence and of course this wasn't true. But it sidetracked my hearing.

We come to a mutual agreement later that month (March 2019) and we sign the mutual orders. In it we're joint managing conservators. Child support zeroed out for me because I was having a hard time getting back on my feet after my dad died. But I gave up NONE of my rights. I fought their attorney HARD, I filed a civil suit against them all and was ready to go all the way with it.

A trial date was announced at the March hearing. There was a trial notice filed the day after. I wasn't ever served with it.

They get me to sign temp orders getting what I asked for by saying they were dropping the trial date.

They go ahead with the trial date unbeknownst to me. I didn't lose ALL my rights, they couldn't do that but I was basically ordered to pay child support for my kids being moved out of state against what the court would normally allow. The order basically says the kids don't have to see me if they don't want to. They were 8, 11 and 14 at the time. They call this a "teenager clause" yet 2/3 of our children weren't teenagers.

They have enforcement hearings without serving me. Although we had established electronic service in January of 2019. Serve each other electronically. We both signed up for it. I was served on 11/1/19 with their attorney's "Last Known Addresss" affidavit AFTER the trial. I wasn't served with modified pleadings I wasn't served with anything. Nothing. The docket reflects that. And for a quasi-criminal hearing like enforcement you can have an attorney appointed for you... great.. I wasn't served notice of these hearings.

Now, it's 7 years later. I'm learning more details from my adult children surrounding these events and their lives after, because I never saw them again. And things are still too rocky for that. They have SEVERE ptsd from the alienation and only contacted me because they remembered a very different version of me than the one painted by their dad's family and by their dad.

The youngest has severe parential alienation syndrome and has struggled for years with her behavior in school and going in and out of hospitals and treatment centers.

She is still struggling.

So, I'm moving forward by attacking the default judgement for lack of service/notice and due process violations and my demeanor to the court is very "Your Honor I don't know which order to attack because I wasn't served for this or this and everything else contradicts the relief sought... oh and also.... they kept my kids from me for 7 years"

I'm super prepared this time, and not to brag but I can draft my own motions like a pro and that was BEFORE ChatGPT. I don't take legal advice from it but rather use it to analyze laws, procedures, experiences and put it into legal arguments and help me with citations and the like. Just for the record before the haters come for me for using AI lol

I'm going to be fighting for reunification therapy for the youngest and obviously attempting to reduce the arrears of child support and make it clear that procedure was used as a weapon against me that I couldn't fight. It ruined my entire life. It derailed my career. I screamed crying for months on end. I called the FBI attempting to warn them my children would be taken from me and of course, they treated it like a civil matter. But my children were stolen from me just as if they were kidnapped. They weren't allowed to even say my name out loud. They weren't allowed to contact me they weren't allowed to visit. They were just GONE. Completely.

My first hearing attacking the default judgement against me is this coming Thursday February 19 at 2:30PM.

Please wish me luck and offer support if you have it to spare! I'll be fighting for reunification and sanctions from the court for the abuse of the procedure and yeah... just figuring out how to move forward in life and reunite with my youngest daughter. She's about to turn 16 and maybe it isn't too late to salvage some relationship with her before she's an adult!