The dreams about you lately

The guilt that comes with cheating and getting cut off being left with intense emotions is bold and brutal. Beyond compare. That's how I would describe your stunt which altered my perception of you, I never thought someone like you can be vile, you were such a sweet and submissive princess.

I tried drowning the feelings and replaced them meeting different types of people on different depths but nothing compares to what we had nor I am able to dwelve in that feeling, not willingfully. It is true what they say, you really look for people you fall in love with in people you meet, hoping traces of the past shows up, as if you still have a space saved when they visit you, letting her occupy your head and your thoughts. It seems like she is always welcome. Then that will hit you with the fact that you're the one having traces of them in your mind.

Looking back, the impact and influence I had on you took a toll on your mental health which seemed normal at the moment, then again, we were kids. Kids are authentic, everything you do as a kid was more enjoyable and believable, even the fantasies. She was my fantasy, unexpected one. When you're a kid, you have a shallow and at the same time deep definition of what it looks and feels like. It doesn't fit the norm, the society, which makes it more feral. Feral is natural, having that kind of love feels like a purpose you want to fulfill and it will orbit you. That love is beyond compare.