Broke Boyfriend

Hi! I want to start this off with I’m very aware of my situation and where I could have made different decisions. It’s hurts me to think of the other alternatives so I choose to just move on from where I am.

I am currently working full time.

I have a 2 year old. Is three live with my dad. My dad currently pays all of the rent and I pay all of the utilities.

My child’s father doesn’t show and initiative to help with bills.

We have lived with my dad for three years and in this time he was supposed to be getting another job or finishing up school.

(A little backstory about us we were both in college and got pregnant our senior year.

I work a trade and he was in school for a bachelors degree but never finished)

When we first got pregnant we were struggling because in my line of work you need to apprentice for a while before you can start working. He on the other hand had failed some classes in his last semester. He took a low paying grocery job at the time about $15 an hour.

Even when I was making less than him hourly and weekly

I still paid for my car insurance and my phone bill, which were my only two bills at that time. I had money saved up from waitressing and he didn’t.

Now here we are three years later and he has supposed to been finished with school or looking to start a career and he has done neither. He has $0 in savings. He makes about $680 a week now and doesnt help with any household bills. I still pay for all of my own bills and the car payment for a car we share.

So I pay for half of everything and my own stuff. My daughter is even insured through me.

Lately I have been trying to talk to him a lot about how we are going to grow from here and start building our future because I want to buy a house.

I told him that we need to address the fact that he hasn’t grown in the last three years.

I feel like these conversations are always followed up with. I’m too demanding and controlling or he can’t do what he needs to do because I don’t clean the house enough.

I feel like all of these reasons are excuses. I think that he has the perfect ground to build and is wasting it. We live in my dad‘s house comfortably and my dad is a wonderful man who makes him feel welcome in his home.

I also feel like as someone who was on the same track as him and pregnant still worked a very low paying apprenticeship and grew, and now owns her own business successfully this is a poor excuse. I feel like the odds were more against me and I made it work.

Since I can make my own schedule, I work most of my hours four days a week and the other three days I stay home and take care of my toddler full-time and when she’s not being watched by me, she’s being watched by my mom.

After all of this I feel terribly disrespected and I feel selfish to say this but I feel like a single mom.

I’ve been in terrible mental and physical shape since having the baby.

I can’t ever bring myself to have sex with him so we’ve only had sex a handful of times in the last 3-4 years.

I miss intimacy and flirting

I just want to have a happy life but I feel so selfish breaking up my daughter’s household. He is a good loving father but I’m terribly depressed and at my wits end.

But I want to be happy and free again.

I feel like I have everything I wanted besides a happy relationship.

Every time I talk about us splitting up he threatens to take my toddler away from me. Does anyone have any advice? I know I sound like an asshole but I honestly think that my daughter would be better off with me majority of the time because I have the resources and consistency to take care of her.

I already provided her health insurance and I’m her primary care taker.

It seems like the logical choice especially considering I’m her mother but I’m scared and depressed and wish it didn’t have to come to this.

What would you do? Is there a healthier way to approach this?

We are both 25