Loss of a Special Interest

Advice is welcome, but honestly I mostly just need a place to get this out because it’s been weighing on me for a long time.

Since I was about six years old, Japan and the Japanese language have been my special interest. In the early ’90s, a Japanese guest came to my elementary school and shared photos and videos about Japan. Something about that moment clicked in my brain, and from then on it became a huge part of who I was.

Resources were extremely limited back then, but I did everything I could. I memorized whatever Japanese words I could find, learned how to make bento boxes, read about history and culture, anything I could get my hands on. That childhood spark eventually led me to major in Japanese in college. I lived in Japan for several years and loved it. I worked hard enough at the language that I reached fluency to the point where people can’t tell I’m not a native speaker over the phone. (Not saying that to brag, just to explain how deep this went for me.)

Eventually, I turned it into my career. I’ve been teaching Japanese for over a decade and built my own successful business. Watching students grow from zero knowledge to fluency, seeing them move to Japan or find jobs there, it’s been incredibly fulfilling. I’ve also loved sharing the culture, volunteering at events, and trying to spark that same curiosity in others that someone once sparked in me.

But over the last year or so, something has shifted.

Traveling to Japan has become extremely trendy. I know not everyone falls into this category, but I’ve noticed a growing number of people going simply because it’s “the place to go” right now. Many don’t bother to learn even basic phrases. Some don’t seem interested in understanding the culture at all. They behave disrespectfully, treat it like a theme park, and then leave.

And it’s had ripple effects.

When I visit now, I feel like I’m treated differently than I was when I lived there and when I have to interact with Japanese people for work. There’s a visible exhaustion with tourism. Some traditional shops in larger cities have shifted from carefully crafted goods to cheaper, mass-produced items aimed at quick tourist sales. Shrines and historic places often feel overrun by people filming, shouting, posing for content. It can be hard to quietly appreciate what’s in front of you.

Maybe it's just me somehow immaturely feeling as if, "Now that it's trendy, I can't like it anymore!" I’ve questioned that. But somewhere along the way, the thing that once brought me the most joy started bringing me nothing. Just an empty void. Boredom.

I don’t read new articles about Japan anymore. I don’t watch Japanese shows for fun. I avoid using Japanese outside of work and lately, I’m not even enjoying my job. After 30 years of building this skill and identity around it, I feel strangely empty. Like the spark that defined so much of my life just… went out.

For the past six months to a year, I’ve been trying to find that feeling again, or find something new that lights me up, but mostly I just feel lost. I feel like I'm constantly just waking up to do what I have to do and then going back to bed to wake up the next day. Rinse and repeat.

If anyone else has experienced the loss of a long-term special interest, I’d really love to hear how you handled it. And if I’m just being immature or dramatic, you can tell me that too. I genuinely don’t know anymore.