The worst part about being lonely for me isn’t being lonely, it’s how being lonely has to be shameful for a man

I posted it somewhere else but I feel drained over the recent bloom of twitter posts talking about how men only want a mon after someone shared a anime clip of a woman instructing her husband.

I don’t have any interest in romance, null, but also it does hurt when even having a fantasy of someone who will be patient yet supportive of teaching me is something I need to be ashamed of myself for wanting.

For context, I’m autistic. So the world and humanity is confusing and teaching myself is self destructive and the equivalent of bashing your head against a rock repeatedly for a 50/50 chance you maybe learn something new… Oh, and absolutely no one on the planet wants to help of support you. It’s fun.

I just wish my fantasies didn’t have to be a thought crime too, everything I want to retreat to in my mind of being guided by mature and strong people is always morally wrong.