„straight” male want to suck a dick

(English is my second language so it might not be perfect)

Hi this is a new account. I’m a m18 with a gorgeous (long distance) gf and for my whole life i was straight but some time ago i started to watch trans women and jerked off to them. It started innocent but then i started to imagine giving them a blowjob but never wanted more. I started to jerk off with other males on cam2cam sites and my urge to give some man a blowjob was becoming stronger and stronger (I for real thought about doing it while having a gf but all of this was only when I was super horny). After jerking off to transes, blowjobs and jerking off cam2cam I started to like the cuckolding topic. My dick is not that big (little above 6inch but thin), my gf already had sex with 2 guys but she was my first real relationship and body. I love her very much and feel a little bit insecure about her past, but lately when im horny I love to imagine her with a bigger dick or a big strong man and also i watched some gay porn sex (before only blowjobs). Today when I was walking out of the gym bathroom i saw an older guy completly naked and I watched his penis for how long it was possible to not get cought (now I regret not staring at him longer because maybe it was my chance for a blowjob). The thought of sucking a dick or beeing fucked races my mind but also I dont want to ruin a 1,5 year with my gf that I love very much (long distance is really hard for me lately and I think that I need to quit porn and focus on God and myself to not fuck this up).