My pwBPD is asking me to get rid of my dog

We have been together for 2 years and have gone through periods of intense arguments, the last few months have been the worst. She has all the symptoms of BPD and agrees that she does and is also agreeing to find a therapist and start therapy. She hasn’t done this yet.

One of our big recurring arguments is over my dog. He’s 3 years old, deaf, admittedly he can be annoying sometimes and he’s been very hard to train due to his special needs but I continue to keep trying because I’m bonded to him in a way. After we got together she wanted a dog too so I got her one from the shelter. Her dog turned out to be the perfect easy dog. She’s also since gotten a cat who is also great. The two dogs are bonded and very cute together in my eyes but she keeps telling me my dog is too annoying he’s a burden and she can’t live with him anymore.

For the past year or so my dog has really grown out of most of his annoying behaviors. He scratches at the door when he wants to come inside and he still gets into stuff outside that he shouldn’t every now and then when he’s bored. He can’t hear commands so he won’t always follow things like sit, stay, come unless he sees you. She refuses to do anything for him like feeding him or letting him out which is fine for me I assume all his care. I asked her what exactly is he doing that she doesn’t like anymore and she says “he’s annoying I just hate him.”

Under pressure I agreed to rehome him but lately I’m feeling more bonded to him and I see how he and the other dog are bonded and I’m just really struggling. If I even try to interact with him while she’s around like walking him or spending time with him she says I’m “taking time away from her.” She just has such a hatred for him and I don’t completely get it. Yes in the past he was truly annoying and would ruin camping trips by barking nonstop and things like that. He probably does need someone better at dog training and with more free time than me. I still love him though.

This morning she asked me again when I’m going to rehome him and said I’m running out of time to do it or she will leave me. I just don’t know what to do I’m tired of these fights I don’t like the pressure to hurry up and “get rid of him” I’m trying to avoid conflict.