worst feeling after a hookup

I just had a hookup with a girl that I had met on Hinge, and I feel so fucking terrible. I feel dirty, ashamed and I’m just not in a good headspace right now.

The thing is, I had a hookup in the past once, it was a couple months back and I had the same sort of emotions afterwards, however they weren’t as bad as now and I also accredited them to the fact that I had broken up a month prior and therefore it didn’t feel good.

I’ve been single for a while now I have been feeling somewhat “hormonal” prior to the hookup, so I went on hinge to find someone who would be down for something casual. I did and we did our stuff but holy shit do I feel awful. It didn’t feel right and I feel like throwing up, even while we did it I wasn’t feeling good and I ended up driving her home sooner because I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack or something.

Also no shade towards the girl, she was sweet and very respectful, but I just couldn’t deal with physical intimacy in a way that I thought I could.

The whole experience also siphoned every sexual thought out of my head. The idea of anything sexual, watching porn or just stuff of that nature makes me want to throw up. I didn’t know that my body would have such a volatile reaction to this and I’m genuinely terrified