What is the functional difference between being unable and being unwilling?

20M, NEET, ADHD (executive dysfunction and emotional dysregulation)

I guess this is a dumb question, ‘cause everyone talks like they’re different, and that seems correct, but something isn’t clicking for me.

For some necessary context: I dropped out of high school nearly four years ago and haven’t done much of anything except play video games since. Every single day I think about meditating, exercising, doing anything productive — but I haven’t been able to manage it for any more than a few days at a time before stalling for months. I have serious trouble maintaining basic hygiene and I have several vices (porn addiction, overeating, weed) that I cannot get rid of despite being very aware that I need to. I’ve also got lots of other mental health issues which act as multipliers to this one.

I’m very depressive, I severely traumatized myself shortly after dropping out of high school, I have major body issues, and more recently I’m prone to severe mood swings as my general mental condition deteriorates from years of inaction.

Worst of all? I use reddit.

Clearly the situation is a dire one.

Yesterday I made a post asking how to put effort into things, and after thinking about the comments a lot I’m under the impression that, while the issue of executive dysfunction is the thing that put me in this hole in the first place, I am absolutely in a state of learned helplessness with extremely low distress tolerance. Cool! So part of the issue is my refusal to take responsibility for my own life. Neat.

I’ve got a question though: What difference does that make?

Me being unable to engage in necessary/meaningful activities and me refusing to do them feels like the same thing emotionally. The subjective experience is identical as far as I can tell, I have *zero* intuitive understanding of the issue. I don’t want to be a stubborn asshole who won’t do the things I know are necessary for recovery, but that’s how things have panned out so far and I don’t know how to get from A to B.

My acknowledgement that I’m the one keeping myself in a hole doesn’t make me any better at not doing that necessarily, and I still don’t have even a remote understanding of how to make myself put effort into things.

In regard to the ability to enact your will under pressure, what’s the difference between being unable and unwilling? What do I do with this new understanding?