I'm an angry mom

I'm an angry mom and I don't want to be an angry mom and I can't stop being an angry mom.

My baby screams non-stop if she isn't being held, so it's like an endless overstimulating scream in the background if I try to pee or make a meal for my toddler.

My toddler/pre-schooler is huge - he's long - almost 3 1/2 feet and weighs 45 lbs. He's started pushing and biting and throwing things when he hasn't ever done that before. We try to work on listening ears and giving choices and after an entire day of absolute bullshit from him I explode. Everything is a battle - a battle to come inside from playing, a battle to eat food, a battle to sit on the potty, a battle to be nice to his sister, to put clothes on, to wear a pull-up or training undies, to rest...

My husband works 12-14 hour days. I get a lot of help from my mom most of the time. But, on days like today where everything is endless I just feel like I'm traumatizing my kids when I finally break down and yell and I don't know what to do.