Is it possible to heal from the desire to be a woman?

I believe I developed AGP in my early teenage hood due to growing in a very macho family and learning that men need to be aggressive and competitive meanwhile I was, as they call, a faggot for being more on the emotional and emphatic side of the spectrum. So in conclusion, I got the idea that I could've only be loved by who I am by being a woman.

Testosterone kicks in and now I have this sexual desire to be a woman and I envy every single one of them

I did transition five years ago and I can pass, the sexual desire of being a woman is still here, but the social desire is gone, as I have learned the world is much more than that bubble of blue boys and pink girls I was surrounded when I was growing up.

Now here is the deal, I want to de-transition and live as who I am, but the sexual envy I have for women is still pretty existent in my life, and I'm afraid that if I go back to my natural hormones I will regret it for my entire life, as some of the Testosterone effects are permanent and will ruin my chance of ever passing

Anyone here has gone through something similar or feel like have something useful to tell me?

thanks in advance