OCD (Guilt)

When I was 19 years old (around four years ago), I was socializing with a small group of people (four of us in total). I went together with my friend, and the woman came with her friend, and we all went to her place together. During the evening, there was mutual flirting and playful physical behavior between me and the woman. We were tipsy/drunk

While we were walking to her house, there is a recording where she grabbed my pants by the belt loop and pulled them up, causing my jeans to be pulled high against my body. The gesture appeared playful and mutual in tone, and it happened in front of others. This video exists and shows her initiating that contact while we were walking together.

Later that night, after arriving at her place, the situation became more intimate. Both of us had been moderately drinking (tipsy, not heavily intoxicated). We were lying down together and kissing, which appeared mutual.

During the kissing, I escalated physically by moving my hand inside her pants. After a short period of time (estimated 5–20 seconds, possibly up to ~30 seconds), she gently moved my hand away. There was no verbal refusal, no pushing, no force, no screaming, no threats, no holding her down, and no visible distress. The boundary signal was non-verbal and gentle.

Because the signal was subtle and the situation had involved mixed signals earlier, I briefly hesitated and may have made one or two short additional attempt before fully understanding the boundary. Within seconds of recognizing it, I stopped completely and did not continue any further physical escalation.

After this moment, the interaction de-escalated naturally. We stayed together calmly, talked, relaxed, and even took a selfie together. There was no argument, no negative shift in mood, and no indication of fear or discomfort. We later left normally, and in the years since, there has been no complaint, accusation, distancing, or fallout related to this incident.

There is no known recording of the intimate moment inside the house. My concern is hypothetical — that because there were four people earlier in the evening, someone could have recorded something that might look bad out of context, even though no such recording has ever surfaced and none was observed at the time.

I struggle with OCD, and it repeatedly tells me that I did something wrong and asks “what if there is a video?”. Because of this anxiety, I came to ask other men whether I did something wrong as a teenager, or whether this was a normal but imperfect situation that ended appropriately. My ocd says im horrible