Why do I feel so awkward talking

Ive been trying to get out of my shell for the past couple years. Talking to strangers with light conversation or making new friends. I was very sheltered by my mom and she did all the talking for me growing up. Then 2 years after high school Covid hit so I had plenty of time to avoid the world. Now sometimes (mostly when im high) ill just think back on conversations I had with people that day or the couple days before and I just feel like I sound so weird. Like ill have the out of body experiences where I can repeat those conversations in my head and hear myself from a different perspective and just think "why did I say that" I always feel like people think im weird or awkward, maybe thats just my insecurities. Do you grow out of this stage or am I just gonna feel like this forever. I feel like im not me if that makes sense. Ive spent so long avoiding talking to people that it just feels so forced now and I hate it. I want to be able to make friends with people or going out to social events but I feel like I dont belong there or thats not my lifestyle.