Just got back from Disney World, AMA

I have been a vocal Disney/Marvel/Reddit-adult hater for a long time. My wife (not a Disney adult but likes theme parks) wanted to take me to Disney World to prove that I could have a good time there. I pushed back initially because I maintained that it is for kids, and that going there as a currently childless couple would be cringe. She recently got a big promotion at work and wanted to celebrate by going to Disney World and I'm a good husband so I said yes. Here are my thoughts.

The good:

• The staff (they call them "cast members") are very helpful and friendly. I assume this is because most of them are Disney adults themselves, and they really like their job. The Epcot park has areas for a dozen different countries and they hire people from those countries to staff those areas. It was fun to chat with them.

• The food, while pricey, is generally pretty good.

• The transit system is great. Buses are clean and run often. The monorail is sick.

• If you like thrill rides, the ones at Disney are (mostly) very fun and unique, and the theming is honestly incredible. The Twilight Zone "Tower of Terror" ride was remarkable, I have never experienced anything like it.

• Impeccable people watching, perhaps second only to a Renaissance Faire.

The bad:

• The amount of morbidly obese people there is insane, like way more than you'd see just out and about anywhere else. I wonder if that's a Florida thing or if the obese are predisposed to liking Disney. They are very entitled, too. I was almost run down by fatties on their beetusmobiles 3 separate times.

• Uncomfortably crowded. Idiots with no spatial awareness stopping and/or standing in the middle of a sidewalk. I can't even imagine how it is when school is out for the summer and it's 95 degrees. I'd go berserk.

• Some of the rides break down quite often, and for long periods of time. Apparently this is due to the trackless system they use which has to be completely reset every time a sensor is tripped.

• Some of the rides are really dumb, notably the Avatar river cruise or whatever it's called. I wish I would have looked up what this was before going on it because that was an hour in line I'll never get back for a 2 minute cruise through a cave with a bunch of fake alien plants inside. Who is this for? Are there Avatar super fans out there I don't know about?

The Ugly:

• Really, really expensive. $200 per person per day for park admission. $30 entrees at the restaurants, $19 cocktails. 12 bucks for a fuckin hot dog. And they are CONSTANTLY trying to sell you more shit. Gift shops at the end of every ride. Trinket booths every 20 feet. Buy the lightning lane to skip the lines. Pay extra to get an optimal seat to watch the fireworks. They must make a killing on all the fatsos because they charge like 60 bucks a day for mobility scooter rental.

• Blackpilling. You really get to see how dumb the average person is at Disney World. Parents giving their infants soda to drink. People wondering where the Cinderella castle is while they're standing in Epcot. People standing in front of the Cinderella castle asking employees how to get to Hogwarts from there. 75% of kids in line for a ride playing a game on their phone the whole time. Bleak.

I cannot fathom that people do this every year. I don't even know how people can afford to do so. You could do a killer vacation in another country for the price of a Disney trip. But... overall, I had a good time. I would go back when my wife and I have children. It is heartwarming to see a child have the literal best day of their life meeting their favorite character. The Disney "Imagineers" do a great job developing unique rides, and building the different areas. So, I've changed my tune a bit. I went into it thinking I would be miserable, but you know what, I liked Star Wars when I was a kid, and ngl I soyed out a bit seeing the life size millenium falcon. Obviously there's something fucked up about being a Disney adult, but if you absolutely can't let loose a little and allow yourself to have fun here there's something wrong with you. Anyways, $4 a pound.