I'm planning on leaving on my birthday

March 10th. I told myself and made myself promise that if I didn't grew as a person, didn't find a reason to stay, a more stable job, school, a boyfriend, something to fulfill me and help me achieve my goals, I'd be committing suicide. Cause I'd have nothing to hold on to. Nothing to care about. Nothing that keeps me here. Some might say "what about your family? What about your friends? What will your loved ones say?" I don't care. I'll be dead when that happens, so I won't have to worry about them, cause I won't be able to help them. Also, I have no one. I'm a socially awkward person, have no friends, no real ones anyway, except maybe one. I have coworkers and people who know me, maybe they'll mourn, maybe they'll be upset, but they'll move on. They will all forget me. What I'd they do, they already forget about me every day. I wouldn't be surprised if some friends from high school or before didn't even recognized me. And my family? I love them, but I'm a huge disappointment for them. I didn't got to be what they wanted me to be. I'm a disappointment to my father, a bad role model for my sister, a disappointment to my mother. They won't have to worry about me being a bum anymore. I don't know why I'm waiting, if maybe I haven't made up my mind or if I'm waiting for something to pull me from this metaphorical cliff, but something will happen on March 10th. I just don't know what yet. I do know I want to die and maybe I'll try it. Maybe I'll succeed and all my worries will be gone and I with them. It'll be my goodbye. I don't say goodbye to anyone cause for me that's final, maybe a little bye, see you later, or just nothing, cause I expect to see the other person just as much as I think they expect to see me next time, but on that day, I'll finally say goodbye.