Why do disagreements feel this horrible?

Without fail any disagreement, argument, or even just a simple discussion I perceive as negative my brain goes into overdrive. I cannot handle how much it hurts sometimes.

If I say something in a tone or it comes off wrong and upsets someone it sends me into a tailspin of wanting to pull back from whoever it is and making myself feel unworthy and useless. Even if it gets resolved, in my head it is not resolved and the other person is still mad at me or upset even if they dont ever say they're mad.

I don't even know if I'm making sense here or not, I just instantly feel so much sadness and shame. If I am perceived for even a moment as anything negative my brain goes nuts.

I'm not sure how to combat it at all because all I want to do is pull away and hide.