“I love you too, Ollie.”

You took.

But I thought you knew;

To you, how I loved to give.

I thought you saw

The glimmer in my monster.

And finally felt safe

To come outside.

To play.

I thought we preferred

Our diamonds black—

Wordlessly agreeing

That I was the child at last.

And you, the loving parent;

We had both longed for.

I thought you felt special

When I read the poems,

And saw the watercolours

Your mother had kept

In the plastic shopping bag—

Under a photo album of only her.

I thought you felt my heart stop.

Right there outside your door;

Hearing you quote me

As you comforted your brother.

I thought you would be

My daughter forever;

Coveting the myth you wrote

Of unselfish men,

And loving fathers.

But I look through

My apartment window,

And I don’t see us.

I’m not there

For you to whisper:

“I love you, Ollie.”

With your thin arms

Around my neck.

Drowning in the ocean’s roar.

Still, I thought you treasured

Your lighthouse on my rocky shore,

Revealing me to you—unmeasured:

“I love you too

…

I love you, Em.”

This piece is a spiritual successor to “Rose”—the poem that is simultaneously my most recognised and most painful. I miss you, Em. You know who you are, so please remain as you have always been.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Poems/s/UdEd74KmJB

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/hLChhNo2be