I am in shambles

Hello. I quite literally don't know anything. I spent my entire adolescense doing absolutely nothing but consuming slop media, abusing toxic substances, playing video games and hanging out with individuals who share those interests and quite literally only those interests. When I was in school, (since a very young age) I had never decided to learn anything or pay attention to school work, I was like a class clown I guess. I never really had structure and I was never taught anything (besides going to school and not paying attention). I noticed I was stuck in this "cycle of victimized mentality" and I believe it is due to my past living situation and my horrible family that normalized this behavior. I am currently 18 and have just tried starting to turn my life around. This may seem like nonsense or rambling but I've tried to fix myself by myself and that is really not working out. Anyway, I am now 18 and have no skillset for anything. I FEEL SO FAR BEHIND THAN THE AVERAGE INDIVIDUAL. When I was stuck in my "cycle" I would just cry about my problems and tell myself that I want to end my life. I quickly realized that thinking like this is also going to get me nowhere. When I try to communicate with people it doesn't go well, I don't know anything so I am completely uninteresting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people that cry about their life and don't try to do anything about it. I used to be, but now I actively seek out and try to identify what my problems are and try to find solutions to them. When I try to learn something, it doesn't stick or my mind goes blank, same goes for my thoughts when I try to speak. I don't even know how to learn. It's quite pathetic really. I pick topics up and put them down. I tried relying on AI as a crutch so I wouldn't have to disclose with anyone but now I have a false sense of security and I'm relying on an Artificial Intelligence chatbot for answers. I don't know how to do taxes, or anything else an 18 year old should know. You know when somebody makes a reference to something? like it could be absolutely anything at all.... and I wouldn't get it. I feel like a normie with no brain. If there's anything worse than a normie, I'd call myself that. As I am typing this, I'm regretting knowing that I am about to post it. Rereading this makes me feel even more stupid. I want to be one of those smart individuals that have direction and know what they are doing. Maybe I should be grateful that I am not getting murdered by someone or having bombs dropped where I live. I could be in a hell of a lot worse situation. I don't know.