20M - Solo Exploration as A Submissive

Hey Reddit, I've recently started to identify as a submissive, and as someone who is not currently single (and will likely stay single for years), I've been trying to find ways to explore my submissive side when solo.

I've been listening to FDom erotic audio, and while it's helped a lot when masturbating, I find myself being unable to properly align with my view of what a submissive should be. I've always believed that I need a partner to really be a proper sub.

I've been struggling with loneliness for the past couple of years, and my kink has served as a way to help me cope with it, but I'm concerned that because erotic audio is my only means of exploration, I will become addicted to it or that once I start to make friends in college, my kink will go away. I currently feel like this kink is a big part of my sexuality, and I would hate to lose it.

Sorry if this is a big question, I just have a lot to say.