i’m scared i’ve permanently damaged my brain

every time i have a meltdown i try so hard not to hit myself but i can’t help it i just hit and punch myself mainly my head bc i fucking hate how autistic i am. i’m ’high functioning’ and the world just overwhelms me i lost my gf bc of my meltdowns and i’m just so sad and lonely. i’m scared ive damaged my brain bc my head hurts and i keep getting brain fog and forgetting things :(