[US] [AR] Need advice/help on HC co-parenting plan

Parenting Plan for High Conflict co-parenting

This is my second custody battle regarding my two children. My ex recently tried to rip the rug from underneath me by filing for full custody with only 5 days till court date. she hit me with 3 different law suits. I managed to hire a good attorney and surprised her with representation. Her lawyer immediately folded, dropped all suits in order to get me to agree to a temp order and lift the no contact I was awarded, against my ex wife.

Now... our final hearing is in May and I'm trying to piece together a parenting plan that will reduce room for disagreement or arguments.

I know this is a long read, but I would really appreciate anyone with experience in high conflict co-parenting to give me their two cents, advice, anything to help.

Thank you!!

Parenting Plan - 50/50 Split Time

\+Holidays

Alternating yearly, Father on odd years, mother on even years. Holidays supercede the normal biweekly schedule but do not alter or delay the weekly schedule set forth.

\+Holidays

Labor Day

Fall Break

Thanksgiving Break

Christmas Break

MLK Day

Presidents Day

Spring Break

Good Friday

Halloween

Summer break

Children's birthdays

\+Additional Breaks

Early Dismissals

Teacher Development Days

\+Non-Alternating Holidays

Mother's Day

Father's Day

The mother is allowed custody of the children on Mother's Day from 8a to 7p. The father is allowed custody of the children on Father's Day from 8a to 7p. These scheduled times are at the discretion of the receiving parent but will not exceed the 7p deadline. These two holidays supercede normal custody schedule but do not change or delay the set parenting custody schedule.

\+Visitation Transportation

Both parents agree to meet halfway between the respective homes (location redacted). Should either parent be located further away, it is that parents responsibility to drive the extra distance and not hold the other parent responsible for excess mileage outside of the agreed upon halfway point.

\+Vacations

If either parent wishes to schedule vacation time with the children, the time must fall on their planned parenting time. If a vacation is longer than the allotted weekly visitation, the parent must have written and signed consent from the other parent agreeing to the extended time. Anytime lost to that parent must be immediately added to the end of the first week the children are back in that parents custody, at that parents discretion and without altering/shifting the biweekly schedule. If the children will be on vacation away from their home, the other parent must be notified of the address and phone numbers of the home, hotel or place they will be staying.

\+Summer Breaks

During summer break both parents will adhere to the normal parenting schedule. If another parent wishes to keep the children for an extended time, written consent must be obtained from the other parent. Any time lost or gained shall be applied to the first immediate week the children are back in the other parents custody.

\+Special Circumstance Time

In the event that a parent must willingly shorten the length of a visitation week, this time is lost and is not transferable or owed back at anytime. This is only permissable at the discretion of the other parent. If this is requested due to medical emergency, death or transferable illness the other parent shall honor this agreement and assume early custody of the children.

\+Parenting Time

Biweekly parenting for both parents starts at 3:00pm on Fridays and ends at 2:59pm on the following Friday, alternating every other week. Any event that may arise during that parents time is the responsibility of that parent.

The children are allowed to be in the care of Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles, in 8hr blocks of time, for no more than 2 consecutive days. If a visit requires more time, such requests should be submitted in writing and signed by both parents. Any time lost during parenting time is not transferable or owed back at anytime.

\+Out Of State Travel

If out of state travel is requested, the other parent must provide written consent. The responsible parent shall provide the other parent a schedule of leave and return times, location of visit, pertinent address and phone numbers to residence and allow a daily phone call with the children. The traveling parent assumes all financial obligation of said travel, lodging, dining and any other expenses related to the trip. Should medical emergency arise during this time, the traveling parent reserves all rights to mandate immediate assistance. In this event only, shall the none traveling parent accept shared equal financial obligation.

\+Illness

If a child is sick and requires at home care, the parent responsible for that week must accommodate their schedule to the childs needs. If verifiably unable to do so, that parent must notify the other parent and the other parent should receive and accept responsibility of the children. Any time lost during parenting time is not transferable or owed back at anytime.

\+Doc/Dent/Therapist Appointments

If a child requires an appointment, the appointment must be made on that responsible parents parenting time and can not be used to leverage time away from the other parent. If medication is required, the weekly parent will be responsible for acquiring and administering prescribed medication while the children are in their care. Upon custody exchange, said medication will be shared with the other parent to administer during their scheduled time.

\+Inclement Weather

If inclement weather prohibits a parent from adhering to any part of the parenting plan, that parent must make every attempt to notify the other parent immediately. If weather prohibits travel, the children will remain with the responsible parent until it is deemed safe to travel again. If weather causes harm to the home of either parent, the children will remain with the parent whose home is not damaged. If both homes are damaged, the children will remain with the paternal grand parents. In this event, whoever's home is repaired and deemed safe first shall regain immediate custody of the children. Once both homes are repaired and in good order, both parents shall re-adhere to this parenting plan.

\+Personal Events

If there is a personal event (i.e. wedding, birthdate, celebration, graduation) that occurs during parenting time of the other parent, the other parent must be notified one month in advance. Anytime lost to the other parent must be immediately added to the end of the same visiting week as the event; at that parents discretion and without altering/shifting the biweekly schedule.

\+Sports

Extracurricular activities shall not exceed more than two, per child. If the children wish to participate in an extracurricular activity, the weekly parent must notify the other parent of such request. If such request impedes either parents ability to work, attend appointments or follow obligations outside of this agreement, said parent must allow advocating parent to transport child(ren) to and from activities. In this event, the advocating parent assumes all obligation to attend, finance and fulfill the needs of said activity, regardless of who's parenting time it is. In this event the advocating parent must transport the child to and from the activity in a timely manner and must communicate clearly intended pickup and drop off times. This does not eliminate due parenting time nor bar the responding parent from attending any event. If any extracurricular activity negatively interferes with the child(ren)'s school work, they are subject to immediate removal from the extracurricular activity.

\+Decision Making

Both parents share equal decision making authority, while both parents share equally all financial obligations from such decisions. If an event occures that requires an emergency decision, the other parent must be notified within 24hrs. Any event whose decision requires financial obligation, it is the responsibility of the weekly parent to pay, giving the other parent 30 days to repay equal share of the obligation.

\+Education

Both parents agree to enroll both children in the local school that is closest to the farthest traveling parent. If fathers school choice is 9.9miles from mothers, and mothers school choice is 12.2 miles from father, the choice will default to the closest of the traveling parent.

Both parents shall be present for school enrollments, PTCs and school assessments. If a meeting needs to take place with the school for any reason, both parents should be notified and given proper time to attend. If either parent receives notification from the school pertaining to either child, this communication must be forwarded, in full, to the other parent within 24hrs.

\+School & Extracurricular Supplies

Each parent will be responsible in providing supplies for their own homes. If either child decides to bring supplies home from the other parents home, these supplies will be returned upon next custody exchange.

\+Conflict

If any decision regarding the children should result in non-agreement between the parents or the children, both parents agree to use mediation, counseling or conflict resolution tools before court intervention.

\+Additional agreements

Any additional agreements or arrangements outside of this outlined parenting agreement must be written, signed by both parents and notorized at the advocating parents expense.

\+Child Support

Both parents agree that due to the nature of this 50/50 custody agreement, both parties are exempt from owing either parent child support.

\+Health Insurance

Both children currently qualify for Medicaid, but in such an instance this is revoked, the father will purchase adequate health insurance for both children and the mother will reimburse equal financial responsibility within seven days of bill.

\+PCP, Therapist, Psychologist & Dentist

Each parent shares equal say in whom the children see for their primary care physician, therapist & psychologist and dentist. Once decided, this specialist will be set for one year. At the end of the year, both parents reserve the equal right to change the specialist. If a change needs to be made before the yearly review, both parents must come to an agreement. If non-agreement takes place, both parents shall refer to the conflict clause in this agreement.

\+Records Access

Both parents will be allowed access to medical, dental, education and therapy records. Both parents shall be allowed copies of both children's birth certificates and SSN cards.

Neither parent shall obstruct or delay by conveience of requested records outlined above. If either parent requests any record outlined above, the other parent must respond within 24hrs and deliver physically or by means of access within 48hrs of request.

\+Communication

Both parents are to remain communicative and available pertaining to any topic concerning the children. If communication regarding the children arises, the responding parent must respond within 24hrs of receiving communication. The preferred methods of communication will be text, phone or email. The parents will not communicate about topics unrelated to the children. All communications will maintain respectful, constructive and polite language. Personal attacks, cursing, insulting or demeaning language are strictly prohibited from communication. The parent who first learns of a school assignment or assessment must inform the other parent within 24hrs if the child(ren) will need to prepare or work on assignments during the other parents custody time.

Non-emergency related communication will be responded to within 24hrs.

Emergency communication will be responded to in 1hr. The parent sending an emergency communication must make all attempts across all channels of communication to reach the other parent including utilizing the agreed emergency contact mentioned below.

Each parent shall provide the other parent third party emergency contact information in the event a parent is unreachable. This emergency contact info is strictly only to be used for emergency purposes.

Changes to contact information must be shared within 72hrs.

Should either child request to call the other parent, this should be granted and unmonitored. Unscheduled calls for the children should occur between 8a-8p.

Children shall not be used as messengers for schedule changes or to convey messages between parents.

\+Taxes

Each parent shall be allowed to claim one child on their yearly income taxes. The father shall claim the youngest child, and the mother shall claim the oldest child.

\+Stable Home Environment

Both parents shall at all times provide a safe and stable home environment. Both homes shall be the primary residence of said parent and provide all safety standards set by DHS. If either home is unable to provide this at anytime, the children will remain with the other parent until a safe home is established with the other parent per DHS standards and a satisfactory review has been completed.

\+Overnight Stays

Neither child is allowed to stay overnight at anyone's home other than the parents or grandparents of the children. Neither child is allowed to attend sleepovers with classmates, nor can either parent host sleepovers with the children present.

\+After School Care & Babysitting

During the school year it is the responsibility of the weekly parent to provide safe and adequate childcare pertinent to their schedule.

During the summer break it is the responsibility of the weekly parent to provide safe and adequate childcare pertinent to their schedule.

Neither parent will be held financially obligated to provide childcare for the other parent.

The children can be enrolled in after school care or summer camps during that parents allotted weekly custody time. It is that parents financial obligation to pay for such care and cover any costs associated. Should the other parent not require after school care or babysitting, that parent will not be held financially responsible for the other parent need for after school care or babysitting.

Both parents agree that the only approved people to care for the children outside of the parents shall be Grandparents, Aunts or Uncles or mutually approved babysitters with written and signed consent of both parents.

\+Children's Property

Any items purchased for the children shall remain at the purchasing parents home unless otherwise allowed by the purchasing parent in written consent. If a purchased item is allowed with consent to travel to the other parents home and is broken, damaged or lost, that parent will be responsible for replacing the item with an item identical in purpose and equal to value within seven days.

\+Children's Rooms

Both parents agree that the children will retain their own room in each home. Both children are allowed to share a room with separate beds but cannot share a room with any other children or adults. Their room(s) must be cleaned and free from dirt, debris, trash or items not belonging to them upon their arrival.

\+Hair Grooming, Hygiene & Attire

Both children shall keep haircuts of reasonable length and cut. Neither parent will allow the children haircuts that feature designs, words, colors or cut styles (i.e. mohawks, green hair, wording) without written consent from the other parent.

Both children shall wear age and sex appropriate clothing for male genders. (i.e. no unicorns or feminine oriented clothing)

Both children shall adhere to daily hygiene by means of showering, brushing teeth, cleaning ears and clipping finger & toenails.

\+Medications & Substances

Neither parent will ingest, display or illicit use of any drug, medication or alcohol in the presence of the children nor allow other persons to ingest, display or illicit use in the presence of the children. If a medical marijuana card has been awarded to either parent, neither parent is allowed to ingest, display or store said medication in view of the children. Any prescribed medications shall be stored out of sight and under lock and key. Neither parent shall be under the effects or influence of medication, illicit substance or alcohol so as to alter their mental faculty in front of the children at anytime nor shall either parent allow other persons to be under the effects or influence of medication, illicit substance or alcohol so as to alter their mental faculty in front of the children at anytime.