Its getting more real again

26f

I'm scared that I must be a lesbian because i had the thought that the idea of being with a woman who looks like a man would be than being with a woman who is feminine. I feel like that screams comphet :((

and I am scared that I only want to stay with my boyfriend to be that "perfect image of a woman that my family would want." I'm so sorry, I don't mean to put down the lgbtq+ community with that comment, I am just referencing that my family is more conservative and judgmental of people who are "different" than them.

I really truly love my boyfriend and want the best for him, deeeeeply care about him too. i also enjoy sex with him and other tbings lol but i worry its not in an "i like men for real" way if that makes sense...? I am so scared that I am just treading water and need to come out as a lesbian. I am pretty sure I am somewhere on the bispectrum but my brain tells me that once I fully accept the bi label than that is just a stepping stone to becoming a lesbian and getting married to a woman

again...I'm so sorry I don't mean to come off homophobic, I am just very scared and have feared being a lesbian since I was 11.