Found out the dude who assaulted me last month was a kid and my period is late

hello im a 22 years old. I had a friend who told me he was 21. I hung out with him every so often and one day Last month he invited me over specifically as friends because I remembered he crossed some boundaries one time from friend to more than friends and i told him i just want to be friends. im autistic and dont always understand men are liars and dont actually want to be your friend. anyways he raped me after we smoked and I went to the hospital to get a sane exam after reporting it to the police. there hasn't been an arrest yet and ive been too scared to call just to be told "not enough evidence we cant make an arrest" i really cant handle hearing those words right now as men always get away with hurting me. ALWAYS! even when I snitch and put my own life in danger snitching they never arrest the men that hurt me. I let them stick swabs in every orifice I have for no god damn reason. im low income and not in a very safe area so its really hard to navigate this world as an autistic woman.

anyways when I checked his Facebook to see if hes arrested yet I saw he put his real birthday and it turns out hes 18. this makes me sick. he is a lot bigger than me with a bunch of tattoos. I had no idea. regardless I only wanted friendship with him, I didnt ask for sex. but I did consent to a kiss one time and it makes me feel sick. this lil boy has been trying to get me to have sex with him for like 5 months though. I always rejected him because im a lady, not a prostitute. he always tried to pay me for it. anyways I feel awful. I know hes technically an adult but I dont care, 18 is a kid to me. im 22! im in a way different headspace in life i feel. he doesnt go to school hes an immigrant and works a job and rents a room like adults my age do, I just thought he was being truthful about his age. but then again, why am I expecting a rapist to be honest in the first place. I just feel really grossed out. I didnt even want it but I still feel guilty. i entertained him, maybe thats why????? i only consented to kissing. it still makes me feel gross. I dont understand. who's raising these kids??? he genuinely looked older than me. I feel so gross.

thats not the only thing bugging me. im late on my period. but I took a plan b at the ER , they gave me free treatment. I read plan bs are 90 percent effective at preventing potential fertilization. I just hope im not in that weird 10 percent. but I also read how it works is that its a hormone that prevents the release of eggs, my eggs already have a hard time getting to my uterus anyway because my miscarriage from 2023 is still stuck in my tubes near the base of the tube in the uterus cuz I haven't had the money to treat it. my mom luckily said she will pay for my treatment to get that checked out now so yay! anyways it should be Uber hard for me to get pregnant in the first place, im not active anyway. but with my luck of course id get preggers with a god damn rape baby. if it does happen itll most likely be a tubal pregnancy in which luckily my mom will definitely help me out getting rid of that being tubal pregnancies kills the mothers a lot of the times. my worry is what if its not a tubal pregnancy? that scares me, anything viable i will be shamed to keep it. can illegal states pursue women who seek am abortion outside of the state they reside in? I dont know im probably overthinking. I still think its too early for a test and I cant afford to waste tests so im going to wait one week and take a test.

I dont have much support. I dont really have any friends or family all I have is my cat. my "friends" ive been questioning if they are actually my friends or just a load of horny guys waiting for their turn or something. how do you even tell if a guy is lying about wanting to be your friend??? i dont know. I just feel gross all around. good news is that ive been able to shower now. so thats good. I like ending on a good note.