I want to reach out to my ex for closure but I’m scared it will hurt me more.

My ex and I broke up about 2 weeks ago, and I’m really struggling. The breakup happened suddenly over text, it was that we misunderstood each other and things ended with both of us feeling hurt and defensive.

I tried to communicate honestly about my feelings and repair things, but he seemed to interpret expressing my needs as criticism or attack.

Since the breakup, we haven’t spoken at all.

I blocked him for about 5–6 days early on because I was in so much pain and couldn’t handle constantly checking my phone, but I unblocked him after that. Now I keep worrying that maybe he tried to reach out during that time and thinks I ignored him. I don’t know if that’s rational or just my brain trying to make sense of things.

I miss him deeply. He was the first person I truly allowed myself to be emotionally and physically intimate with, and losing that has been incredibly destabilising. I wake up every morning hoping he’ll message me, and the silence hurts so much.

I’ve written a message I want to send him basically saying that I care about him, that I think we misunderstood each other.

But I’m scared to send it because I know part of me is hoping he’ll say he misses me too and wants to try again. And I don’t know if I could handle it if he responded coldly or didn’t respond at all.

At the same time, I feel like not sending it leaves me stuck in “what if.”

Has anyone reached out to an ex like this? Did it help you get closure, or did it make things worse? How did you know whether it was the right thing to do?