How do I change my communication when I’m incredibly angry or stressed?

I come from a very difficult home life as a kid, and it’s created a trait in me that I don’t know how to change. When I am very upset, like extremely upset, I yell and cuss at the person I’m speaking to. It’s uncontrollable for a while because my emotion is so consuming in those moments that it just comes out and it takes me a while to regulate and get back to baseline. It doesn’t happen often and I’ve worked on my anger a lot, including getting under control an instinct to be violent under similar circumstances. I’m actually really proud of that one. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to get myself to a place where I can stay grounded through my more extreme emotions. It will cost me relationships and probably already has. Any advice is appreciated.