Called off my wedding, now wondering if I ruined my chance at happiness?

Hi everyone. I’m posting because I feel completely destabilized and I don’t trust my own thoughts right now.

I recently called off my wedding very close to the date. There had been weeks of escalating conflict, emotional volatility, and I reached a point where I felt numb, anxious, and unable to function. I didn’t feel emotionally safe going into a lifelong commitment in that state, so I stopped it.

Objectively, I know there were serious issues. From her side there were repeated all-or-nothing conversations during conflict, really mean, hurtful things said in anger that really belittled me, and I started shutting down emotionally. I felt overwhelmed and honestly scared of entering a marriage feeling that way.

But now that it’s over, I’m spiralling.

I wake up feeling like everything is pointless. I keep rereading old chats where we were happy and wondering if I overreacted. I keep thinking, “What if I just stayed quiet and gone through with it?” I feel intense panic, longing, and regret. It feels like I ruined my only chance at happiness.

Some moments I feel relief. Other moments I feel like I destroyed something beautiful and permanent. I don’t know which feeling to trust.

I care about her deeply. I don’t want her to suffer. And at the same time, I know I wasn’t okay.

Has anyone gone through something like this... calling off something major because you felt unsafe, and then doubting everything afterward?

Is this normal grief and attachment withdrawal? Or does this level of regret mean I made a mistake?

I’m safe, but I feel very lost and unstable internally. Any grounded perspective would help.