My girlfriend physically assaulted me in December , my mom called the police and she went to jail. The police did an emergency restraining order for three months. She now blames me for ruining her record. She had nowhere for her kids to go so they still stay with me. She refuses to help.

So back story . I made a post a few months ago and I received great advice but yet I didn’t take heed to how serious things were going to get after. Me female (39) has been with my girlfriend (34) let’s call her Sara for about 4 years. Things already were starting to drift a few months before the incident in December. My dad gave me a house and we moved in September of 2025. It’s a huge house. Enough space for all four kids to have their own room. She helped with bills the first month we moved in and than it stopped. During the period of October to December I became extremely stressed and overwhelmed having to take of all bills on my own. I would tell her my worries but yet they were all ignored due to the fact that I make more money than she does. Fast forward to December. If anyone knows when you are around women after so long mother natures tend to have you both link at the same time. So Mother Nature was here with a vengeance.

I’m also going through pre- menopause so I get hot and cold. So I came home from work and she was in the bed. I knew she wanted to cuddle but she had the heat on and I was burning up so I sat there trying to cool down before I got in the bed. She immediately got upset cause I wouldn’t cuddle . She started yelling and I walked away into the living room because I don’t like to yell and I don’t want the kids to hear all of this . Long story short she grabbed me by the neck and threw my head into the wall. I called my mom immediately after cause I needed someone to talk to at that moment. My mom called the police , they came and took her to jail for domestic abuse . Her best friend came and got the kids.

Two days later when she got out of jail she told me that the kids wanted to come and stay with me because they want to be in their own rooms and continue to go to their same school . I allowed it . Since than she keeps asking me to drop the charges and it’s my fault because I had full control of my neck so I could have stopped my head going into the wall. She knows I have seizures so that could have turned out really badly. This is where I am upset with myself. I signed an affidavit of non-prosecution to help her because she and her best friend keeps hitting me up saying I’m ruining her life. I’m struggling financially taking care of of them on top of having to pay a mortgage and bills. I literally ask her for help and her response backis I need to drop the charges. I was dumb enough to even talk to the DA and she stated that even though I want to drop the charges she has already picked up the case so it’s really nothing I can do at this point. Our agreement before any of this happened was for me to carry one child so I can get the mortgage paid a few months ahead so we could be ok financially. Love is so freaking blind. She treats me as if I did something wrong and I feel like I’m starting to believe that I actually did something wrong.

I’m hurt cause I really love her and the kids but I don’t know how much more I can handle this. I’m literally being a single parent and I don’t feel as if it’s fair. Honestly I’m dumb because I still pay the car note of the car she drives. Love shouldn’t hurt right? It shouldn’t be physical right? I shouldn’t feel like I’m slowly dieing in the inside because I’ve done all I can and yet it’s not good enough. Where is the accountability of her actions? She treats me like I did something wrong but yet I’m raising her kids by myself . She gets to go out and do whatever she wanted to do but yet. I’m not eating for days at a time to make sure that the kids have an enough food. I’m being a fool but yet don’t know what to do. These kids didn’t ask to be here. It’s not their fault but also I can’t even go get me a two dollar burrito from Taco Bell if I wanted to because I’m always broke just trying to make sure they are ok.

I’ve gone to a few food pantries and that has helped. She called me asked what I was cooking and I told her I didn’t have much food left so they are going to eat sandwiched with chips. She instantly got upset but yet I told her I keep asking you for help and you turn around and flip and say when am I going to drop the charges. I feel so defeated and stupid right about now. Currently sitting in my room crying because I just don’t know what to do anymore .