how to deal with the fear and expectation of failure?

im 19 years old, started online homeschool in freshman year and am on the cusp of graduating high school. i’m currently in my first year of trade school taking a class i absolutely despise while finishing my senior year of high school online. i could’ve gone to college and probably done something useful with my life, but i cannot stand any form of schooling. i chose trade school as a sort of plan b. any time ive taken a class on something i genuinely enjoy, my interest in it is ruined. i work from home making shit money. i’m also in a band that i don’t expect to go anywhere. ive been doing electrical engineering, specifically designing and building musical equipment, as a hobby for many years now. my dream is to be able to start a business selling the things i make. i’ve worked my ass off chasing this goal for the last several months, and i’m almost ready to launch and begin selling things. but, i cannot shake this terrible awful feeling that i will fail no matter what i do. in the back of my mind, i know that no matter what, i will end up working a shitty job doing something i hate. i’m so angry at myself for not even being willing to attempt to take the “normal” route of going to college and getting a decent job. i know that it’s not necessarily rational to expect that it won’t work when i haven’t even really tried, but i cannot stop feeling this way. im so terrified of the passage of time and failure, i feel so much pressure to make everything work out this instant. does anyone else deal with this? what can i do to help myself not feel this way?