Torn Between My LDR Boyfriend and Someone New — I Feel Guilty and Confused

Hi everyone. I really need advice because I’m feeling confused and guilty.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We’re currently in a long-distance relationship. I’m in New Zealand on visitor visa, hoping to eventually build my life here since my family is already here, while he’s in the Philippines working (minimum wage, salary in the PH sucks btw)

Recently, I visited my boyfriend’s uncle here in NZ because they invited me. It was my second time meeting them. I thought they only had two kids, but I found out there’s a step son (a child from the first marriage of his wife). Let’s call him EM.

The day I came over, EM told me he already knew about me a year ago after seeing me on Facebook since i kept appearing in the “people you may know” list. He kept on checking my profile everytime i appears, he said he was curious about me back then but eventually ignored it because he thought I was in the Philippines and that we would never meet since he lives in NZ.

Apparently, when he found out I was here in NZ and stayed a couple of days in his step dad house, he rushed and waited to finally meet me. It was strange because I felt an unexpected sense of familiarity when I met him.

During my stay, we clicked and became close. After I left, we continued chatting. He confessed that he likes me even before, we opened up to each other, and feelings started developing.

I know this is wrong. I have a boyfriend, even if we’re LDR. I entertained EM. EM is also fully aware that my boyfriend is related to his stepdad. We both know what we’re doing.

Here’s my dilemma:

EM is 4 years older than me. He’s financially stable, decisive, and very clear that he wants to build a family soon. He’s capable of leading and building a future here in NZ with me.

My boyfriend is 2 years younger than me. We’ve been together almost 2 years, but I don’t feel like he has concrete plans for us yet.

I’m 29 and I want to start a family. I’m worried that if I stay with my BF, it might take several more years before we’re stable enough to build a family. I want to have kids at this stage.

I feel torn between:

Staying loyal to my long-term boyfriend and building slowly, even if it takes time and uncertainty.

Considering someone who is ready now, stable, and in the same country as me — even though this situation started the wrong way.

I need advice!