I dont know anymore

Hello everyone, I am a single dad in the mist of a difficult custody battle, I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 and right now I dont have my meds, I lost my insurance a few months ago because I cant pay for it right now, I am really struggling, I have been drinking again pretty regularly because sometimes its the only thing that gives me relief from my own thoughts, lately I cant help but think ill never be good enough for anyone, like ill always be alone, I dont have many friends and I feel like most of my friends I used to have left because they dont wanna be around the guy with the kid, for context I had my child at 22, so I was a young parent, I dont really know what to do anymore, I feel like im all alone in this world, trying to find a way to survive, it has been the single hardest time in my life, I just feel so alone and destitute, and the alcohol obviously doesnt help with the depression but I dont really know what to do anymore, I feel like im not worth it, I feel like my life has fallen apart completely, I barely get up to go to work everyday, I feel like ive given up