Should i continue with my service if my mental health has worsened?

Hi, so to give some context I used to have major mental health issues as a child and in high school but I've been off medication for 4 years. I felt as though I had recovered and beaten my depression through work and building better relationships with loved ones, and getting new freinds lol. I even decided I wanted to serve in the US military and signed a contract about 5 months ago. I did have to get a waiver for my past medication use but it was awhile ago so it was easy to get.

A month after I signed my contract, my brother passed away in a traffic accident, a few weeks later my grandmother passed away from health complications. My mental health since then has dipped immensely, to the point im considering therapy and medication again. When I asked my recruiter he said no way and that I would not be able to join/not be able to take medication in basic, which makes since.

I love my country, I love the military as I have alot of family/freinds thats served. but im wondering if I should sit this out for now, as I feel id be a burden to the military in the state im in mentally. After everything happened I told my family I was still going but a month out from basic, im out of shape, depressed, and borderline suicidal and just sit alone in my apartment all day.

Why im saying all this: I'm asking for advice from anyone, not just service members or people who have experienced loss while in service, all advice critical or not is welcome.