Stay with husband or give up dreams of motherhood?

My husband and I have been together for over a decade. We got married recently and shortly after the wedding he hit me for the first time. We’re currently separated and we’re both in therapy.

Here’s my dilemma. I’m almost 40 years old and I always wanted to be a mom. I have a low ovarian reserve. I miscarried recently.

I want to give him another chance. Giving him another chance also means a chance at motherhood. I wouldn’t want to have a baby with just anyone, and I can’t afford to freeze my eggs or go the single mom route.

But what if he does it again and now I’m more trapped?? What if he waits until after I’m pregnant again or after the baby is born?

I feel like I have to choose between motherhood and giving him a second chance, or possibly my life, if he kills me. He has put hands on my neck before and I know that increases the risk.

My sister is pressuring me to put off having a baby with him. I know she’s right that I should at least wait and observe for a bit, but I’m running out of time.

What should I do?