want to reach out

hey yall

my ex boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago saying he didn’t feel connected in the relationship anymore and didn’t love me as much as I loved him and didn’t picture a future with me, despite never showing signs of it.

I went through the deep pain of the breakup at first and have come out the other side semi okay, and thinking about how I want to move my life forward and realizing how incompatible this guy and I were together. I know that we aren’t meant to be together and he gave up on us and me, but I still can’t help but miss him and want to talk to him. we are no contact ish, we both know that we can reach out but we are not talking. i’ve reached out like twice, but u can tell he doesn’t want to talk. i’ve told myself im not allowed to talk to him unless he texts me first, but oh my god I want to talk to him so bad. I miss the daily updates, the inside jokes, the after work phone calls, all of it. I guess this is my first breakup where we’re not on bad terms and i’m not left hating them, and it’s taking all of me to not reach out.

I just feel soooooo desperate. so yeah lol