[Rant] What am I missing at this place? Chastized at AMP for getting a boner

I have been on a horrible streak of luck lately in finding new AMPs. There's this place near me that offers a table shower in their menu, has a buzzer to get in, and has all the windows covered

I go in, mamasan is OLD but I assume a younger girl would come out. Well, no such luck. Granny ends up hosing me down on the table shower and I just think, "hey maybe she's experienced at least." In reality I'm just scared of conflict and thought I'd hurt her feelings. I end up getting a woody during the shower but think this is par for the course and am not embarrassed

Well, post-shower I strip naked and proceed to get an extremely subpar massage back at the massage table. She ends up getting to my inner thighs and I instinctively lift my butt up just a little and the she smacks my ass, hard, and tells me this place only does massages and nothing else. I am used to rejection, the last place I asked if there were any extras and made the universal tugging motion. The masseuse said no and laughed, but I didn't feel judged at all and finished the pretty good massage

This lady was so rude and the massage itself sucked so bad I just got up a few minutes later and said I think there was a misunderstanding and left and tipped $10 as a peace offering because I knew she was gonna chase me out asking for something.

Have you guys ever encountered a massage place that fits this description and turns out to be a dud, or worse like in my case? Ive never been so surprised