If Shakespeare Clogged the Toilet

O most reverent bride, forgive my disgrace,
  For thou must endure this malodorous space.
A superfluous offering, ill-timed in its plop,
  Hath conquered the pipes in rebellious flop.

I blame the bran of the morn’s cruel fare,
  Or cruciferous feasts that flatulant air
Perhaps thy broccoli , o'er-prepared spree,
  Hath torn my bowels and undone me.

Fetch thee thy plunger, marshal thy mop,
  Towels by the gross, and a bucket atop.
Thy throne overfloweth, it shall not end,
The cat flees the chamber, I doth offend.

O sorrowful fate! Upon porcelain wrought,
  On this thy Birthday… I gave thee but naught.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/0GnWBbsKu1

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/s42TtYHdpg