Is it okay to only ever pray "Jesus Christ will you please answer" regarding my prayer life and faith?

It's dishonest for me to pray about anything else now.

I don't need Jesus Christ to talk.

I need Jesus Christ to answer. He knows how to answer in a way I will see and understand and know.

Until then I cannot escape the suffering and am utterly alone and hate life.

There is nothing good to share or say or pray.

I don't need more suffering.

I don't need more loneliness.

I need the Jesus Christ who went out of his way to meet and cure and help lonely people.

Until he answers, responds, reciprocates, replies or relates then there is no relationship here... It's just me waiting and asking and I don't know if he exists anymore as I already confessed and believed for 30 years yet he never did anything or answered and nothing got better, only worse and worse. No new lessons.

I ask for peace in chaos and he adds confusion.

I ask for a spouse and he keeps me single a decade longer than everyone I know.

Now everyone has moved on, new people are like children... I am exhausted and can't keep serving and caring and helping old people.

I'm burnt out and alone and Jesus Christ is not here.

So my faith is collapsing all month now.