2 years affair in job, when I was pregant.

It's very hard for me to write this.

My husband had 2 year affair with coworker, which sounds typical. The main diffrenet is that he is seaman - working on the cruise ship. He works two months onboard and then he is two months home. So let's say he spent half of the year with me and half of the year onboard.

He was the most loving guy in the earth, everybody was jealous that we have such a good relationship. I was in love with him and he show his love to me as well every day, we were together 11 years. He had only one girlfriend before me.

2 years ago - three months after our wedding, he got a promotion, and become very important person on the ship. He changed the ship which he was usually on and then he had new team. And then first time in the team was a girl ( They are all engineers). He was talking about her from time to time, when he was onboard.

After first contract at new position he came back, and I knew that something happen, he was completly different person. He was not saying so often he loves me, he was not with me. But I never saw him with the phone etc. I was just thinking that maybe he is tired, new responsibility.

Our s*x life changed, but we still had s*x.

I asked him - if he has something there onboard - he refuse.

Then he went into ship once again, we still talk everyday - and also on vacation time I got pregnant. He always wanted to have kid - but he didn't show any happines of it.

Then I had very difficult pregnancy, when he was home - he was there for me, but something change - he start going to the gym, he was going out for a walk, hidding phone. I asked him once again about the girl which he is working with. Nothing.

Our relation become so cold, but then I deliver baby, and so on, we stay together - and maybe even we were happy.

3 weeks ago, he came back from the contract - the same day I got a lot of emails, a lot of photos, and a message from this girl from the ship - about how they had affair for all this two years, she knew all about my pregnance, about our life.

She text me that she telling me because she can't live in this relationship anymore, its not healthy for her, and she deserve better than my husband - and he is fully mine. She is not saying that to help me, she is saying that to help herself to go out from this affair - because otherwise they will go everytime in this relation when they are onboard - and she want to move on. She told me that now he will not be allowed to talk with her anymore because of me, and he will hate her - so they will never go on the same ship and she will finally be free.

It broke me. The messages which I got - the emails which he text her - He told her that she is his everything, happiness, that he miss her every minute of the day, that he want to be with her, that he loves her, that he would do anything for her. He texted her when I was delivering the baby - same day - he texted her how he would like to be next to her, sleep in one bed. There was plenty of sex messages, she has beautiful body, she has beautiful face. She is very beautiful women - I feel like shit next to her. And seems like she is very smart as well, because she is the only girl engineer there.

He was sleeping with her every night. Hugging and kissing, living in the same cabin, sharing toothbrush, all this details. It's not even like she was second, side women - she share him equaly with me.

I confront him, he cried, a lot, beg, say he hate her for what she did, and he don't want to be with her anymore. He dont want to see her every again. But I think he is saying this because she sent me this message, if not this he will still continiue being with her.

What hurt me even more she reject him. So maybe he still have very deep feelings for her?

What should I do? He is asking for trying to fix our marriage, but is there any chance he really loves me? He wants me? Or he will be with me because there is no choice of her.

He blocked her everywhere, me as well. I am very lost in my life, 11 years, 8 month baby - I don't know what to do. Please advice me.