I actually got scared for the first time.

28 (F) Just venting — this is bugging me more than it probably should.

I attend the beginner class at 8 p.m. because of my work schedule. The class is mainly for brand-new white belts before they move on to the regular classes, for people who want a slower pace, or for people like me who can only train later at night. It’s my second class of the day, and since I’m usually the most experienced person there (about one year more of training than the average person in the class), I mostly use it to drill in peace, help the coach, and show the basics during live rolling. At first, I was rolling at my normal pace with people I thought were okay with it — like heavier guys or people who also attend the regular classes — until I learned I was supposed to help the beginners, not just train as usual.

Because of that first impression, most of the guys hesitate to roll with me (which I respect, no big deal). But there’s this one guy who actually approached me to roll. I felt good about it because even though he didn’t really know what to do and relied a lot on brute force, it wasn’t anything crazy or something I couldn’t handle. It was actually a good interaction a few weeks ago.

After that, he kept approaching me first. But I started noticing that the intensity and strength were increasing more and more. Then two days ago, while he was trying to pass my guard, he suddenly grabbed both of my legs, lifted them, and in one second I found myself upside down at a 90-degree angle with my neck twisted on the mat. I tapped immediately, and he let go. I snapped at him a little and told him that yes, the stack pass is a real thing — but not when you don’t know what you’re doing.

I don’t know if I was just being sensitive, if I was scared, or what. I know he probably didn’t mean it. He apologized immediately, and I actually felt bad afterward for the tone I used, because I’m usually all giggles and jokes.

I’m not afraid of injuries or being uncomfortable. I’ve been injured before and trained through it. But this felt different — like something could go very wrong, very fast.

Anyway, now I understand why my purple belt girlfriend told me to be picky. You can out-skill somebody and still get compromised.